Shock and Awe

I did it. I ate a small peanut butter ball that had tiny pieces of chocolate in it. Yes, I knew the chocolate was in there and I still ate it! I'll tell you why I did it.
Withdrawal symptom #1: I have been waking up at odd hours of the night unable to sleep and anxious. It is seriously annoying.
Withdrawal symptom #2: At work I'm frequently anxious and nervous because chocolate is literally every where. My company provides free drinks and chocolate. Chocolate is in the kitchens, the boardrooms, the shelves, the closets, in the mail, and my staff keeps offering me more chocolate. Just yesterday we received a box of chocolates from a local business and a co-worker recieved a mardigra cake in the mail! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A FULL SIZED CAKE IN THE MAIL! sigh....
Withdrawal symptom #3: While everyone is receiving all of this delicious chocolate goodness, I am stuffing my face with crackers that I have hidden in my desk. I ate an entire sleave of butter, salty, crackers in a 4 days. No wonder I haven't lost any weight by abstaining from chocolate. I'm over eating and not eating well. Last week I ate an entire pizza by myself in 3 meals. I never do this. I don't even LOVE pizza. I just like it on occasion. But because I can't have chocolate, I want something...anything...not healthy.

Conclusion: I am eating chocolate now...but rarely. Like 1 bite sized chocolate a day. No brownies, cookies, or cakes. With this new goal I am focusing on sleeping better, eating better, and not being so anxious/weird. By allowing myself to eat a small nugget of chocolate, I will not desire pizza or butter crackers (yuck).
With that said, I went to the grocery store today. Yes, today, on national grocery shopping day. I parked in Egypt and found the check-out lines were forever long. I forgot that a snow storm is brewing in the west and people are in panic mode. While part of me was angry that everyone was at the grocery store at the same time, part of me was in awe of all of the beautiful people. I've never been to the grocery and seen so many attractive men. Note to self: go to the store when snow storms are on the horizon.
Anyway, while at the store I bought healthy foods, like fruit. I'm more focused then ever to lose weight. Who knows by not focusing on 'not eating chocolate' maybe I won't eat chocolate?

The journey continues, it is just a little different.

Official Withdrawal.

I have had a major headache all day long. I couldn't figure it out until just now.

I'm having withdrawals. It's painful.

I NEED CHOCOLATE...

NOW.

And She was Tempted by the Devil Three Times

Temptation #1

I went to lunch with my nephew today for his birthday. He chose to go to Arby's. My mom bought some candy to give him and his brothers. She handed a Reese cup to him, to them, to my sister, and then to me. I love Reese cups. I had to remind myself that man does not live on chocolate.

Temptation #2

We went to dinner tonight at a friend's house--the Riddle family. The food was great. Then they offered us hot chocolate. I chose French vanilla instead.

Temptation #3

The Riddles made some chocolate chip cookies, and they even had a selection of soft cookies and crunchy ones. I averted my eyes and chose to restrain myself.

A successfully challenging day.

TiMe

I'm saving a lot of time not eating chocolate. This time, that was once occupied by baking cookies, brownies, and shopping for cookies and brownies, is now being filled with some productive and some unproductive decisions...

1.) I went to a wedding 7 hours away and I didn't know anyone...not even the bride or groom...totally fun!
2.) I died my hair from blond to milk chocolate brown...just because.
3.) I choose to keep driving despite the 30 cop cars that were obviously slowing down. Five minutes later, myself and three girls were screaming in the car as we suddenly realized we were in the middle of high speed car chase on Interstate 40....note to self, be more aware.
4.) I decided to buy a stability ball, like the ones you see at gyms or on info commercials at 3am. I am taking my stability ball to work tomorrow and using it as my desk chair. Don't worry, I asked around at work to see how much grief I would get from this stunt...I don't think too many people will make fun of me.
5.) In an effort to get stronger I took a group power class last week. I arrived 5 minutes early to get a spot a in the back of the aerobics room. Come to find out, most people arrive 15 minutes prior to the class. The instructor set up my equipment in the first row in the middle. I pretty much stared into her eyes the entire time. It was sooooo awkward. Plus I had no idea what I was doing...too bad the instructor wasn't a man. I could of used some help.
6.) I decided to run a marathon some time this year. I told everyone. I was like "How could it be?" The problem is, I haven't actually signed up for a race or started training....I'm starting to think this could be really hard.


Annie remember that time when you went to the gym with me. (Yeah...that happened ONLY one time). The class we were going to wasn't in session because it was Martin Luther King day or President's Day or something. I could tell you were very disappointed.

Ooops, I did it again!

First of all, Brandis is mean. Look what she posted to my Facebook profile:

Is this fair?? I feel like there should be rules against this type of behavior. Maybe I should just step up my game and mail her a king-sized Hershey bar.

Secondly, I am so dumb. This post is not about Brittney Spears, but I did it again, y'all.

Today after church, my small group met for lunch. It was our turn to provide lunch, so we made baked spaghetti and bought bread and chocolate chip cookies. I filled my plate really full of spaghetti, ate it all, and went back for seconds. I put two cookies on my plate.

After I took a bite of about 1/3 of the cookie, Eli gave me a funny look. I thought he was trying to criticize me for having too many cookies. In my mind I thought, But I'm only eating two! Usually I eat way more! Then I realized what I had done.

And right then and there, in the middle of a deep discussion of the spiritual implications of the message that morning, I went to the bathroom and spit out the cookie into a napkin.

Honestly, the hardest part for me of this whole challenge is remembering not to eat chocolate!

Lastly, I think Brandis and I need to be more up front about the rules. At the beginning of this challenge, Brandis requested that she still be able to enjoy her morning chocolate shake. She has some kind of breakfast drink that she mixes with chocolate ice cream. I was okay with that, so we decided that I'm allowed to have hot chocolate as a concession to me. So this challenge is almost 100% chocolate free. And, for the record, I have not had any hot chocolate since we began. But I don't think Brandis could say the same of her morning shakes.

The Prize

I think the winner of this competition should get the car.

Except I think dark chocolate is gross. If I win, I get a milk chocolate car.

4 ton chocolate car

At the gym this evening I watched a news segment about a 4 ton dark chocolate car in China that is being used to promote a chocolate theme park to open this month in Beijing. My question is, who gets this car when the promotion is over? I hear dark chocolate has many healthy benefits. For one it keeps blood pressure down.

Grandpa Goes to the Dark Side

Today I visited my Memaw in the nursing home. She was just admitted last Friday to do rehab until she strengthens her heart.

After lunch, my grandpa called to tell me he was on his way and to check in. Before he hung up the phone, he asked, "Do you like chocolate Sundaes?"

Do I like chocolate Sundays?

For the record, I'm still in this game. I turned him down and tried really hard not to drool when they both ate a big one right in front of me.

Do Dreams Count?

Last night I dreamed of my long lost love.

I dreamed I was eating granola that had smashed up chocolate bars mixed in. Then I realized there was chocolate in it, and I was devastated. I was so upset for losing the challenge.

I come away from this dream with two facts:

1. I love chocolate more than I even knew

2. My subconscious was disappointed in losing to Brandis, so I'm more competitive in this race than I even knew

I wonder whether my love for chocolate or my competitive streak will run out first... any guesses? Any bets?

"life of chocolate"

That is what the church sign said as I was running to the gym yesterday evening. My first thought was, "what does that mean. It doesn't even make sense?" My second thought was, "chocolate." I haven't had a bag of m&ms or a Hershey nugget in 4 days. I've watched the bowl in the office be refilled with mixed chocolates and thought to myself "Why does my company offer the perk of FREE CANDY!!! WHY WHY WHY??" It is just not fair. I can't handle this temptation! Today was hard. I was bored at work, it was thundering and cozy, and the only thing that would have made my day better would haven been a delicious milk chocolate nugget...just one. But I didn't have just one....I had none! I'm awesome.

McDonald's Attempt at Sabotage

This morning as I drove to nanny for my cousin, I got halfway there before realizing I left about ten minutes early. I used this opportunity to drive through McDonalds and order my favorite breakfast: hotcakes with sausage and two milks. I even through in a sausage egg and cheese biscuit to satisfy my raging appetite and love of all breakfast foods.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, a commercial came on the radio. It was a McDonald's commercial. Its first words were something like, "What if it snowed chocolate?" It went on to describe mouth-watering deliciously chocolate things I dream of, but I can't remember the details because I was drooling too much to take note.

McDonald's, you are no match for me. Your commercial might make me drool, but I'll do anything to beat Brandis!

See a similarly designed commercial from aforementioned fast food sabotager below:

I'm going to say no. I've never heard the phrase "I'd rather have this delicious cardboard cracker instead of a chocolate cheesecake." A Hershey bar taste nothing like a graham cracker. Graham crackers are definitely not chocolate. Chocolate is not even in it's name.

Does a vanilla cupcake with vanilla icing count?

Placebo

Do graham crackers count??

It was an accident... I swear!

Today I went to my regular nannying job. I opened the pantry door and browsed the cereal. Raisin Bran, Trix, Cocoa Puffs... and I chose my usual--Cocoa Puffs.

I poured a bowl, was disappointed at how little was left (I was going to finish off the box), and popped THREE puffs into my mouth.

As soon as they touched my tongue, I realized what I had done--they were CHOCOLATE!

Don't worry, I spit them out in the trash, poured my bowl back into the box, and chose waffles instead.

Close call!

I also successfully avoided drinking chocolate milk and having chocolate teddy grahams for a snack later in the day. Can you tell I work with kids? These are some serious kiddie cravings!

The boardroom

8am: moved 2 bowls of mixed chocolate candies, that were in my office, to the boardroom.
8:15am: passed the boardroom on my way to the copy room
8:16: passed the boardroom on my way to my office
9:00: went to meeting in boardroom
9:00: left boardroom to hold meeting elsewhere
10:00:passed boardroom on my way to the copy room
10:01: while in copy room contemplated cheating.
10:02: decided too early to cheat...will think about cheating after lunch...if desperate.
10:30am-5pm: made 4 trips to the copy room and back....safely.

Motivation

I find motivation for this chocolate challenge from several sources:

1. I want to beat Brandis. I love making her lose in all competitive arenas.

2. I want to get rid of my post-baby pouch. After all, I'm no kangaroo.

3. I'm tired of being an addict. It is tough to go through the day thinking and scouring for something when it's not there.

Today I was running errands all day and did something I haven't done in I don't know how long. I ate fast food. Twice. They were small portions, but fast food nonetheless. I cannot express how tempted I was to get a chocolate chip milkshake!!!!!

But I resisted, and because of it, I'm sitting here realizing I have three and a half hours to go before day one of my chocolate challenge ends in victory.

Brandis better get ready for a long ride.

Threw eggs away.

Woke up this morning thinking about chocolate. Went to a friend's house and pretended to ignore the candy jar sitting on her coffee table. Went to the grocery and successfully walked past the baking isle, the candy isle, the valentine candy isle, the cookie dough section, and sped through the checkout line to resist temptation to purchase chocolate. Went to Walgreens...twice. Twice said no to the check-out lady when she offered a deal on candy bars. Went back to my friend's house and watched her eat a piece of cheesecake....my cheesecake...that I gave to her yesterday because I'm giving up chocolate! Went to another friend's house where friends asked if I was making a cheesecake or brownies in the near future. To resist teasing and temptation, went home to cook dinner. Realized I have just enough eggs to make brownies. Threw eggs away.

The Binge... And the Sabotage

Friday night, Brandis decided to drive up for a visit. So, necessarily, I bought the ingredients to make chocolate chip cheesecake pie. We three (me, Brandis, the pie) go way back to our roommate days at WKU. I even shipped a pie to Texas for her in 95+ degree heat one summer on her birthday.

Brandis eats cheesecake for breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner. She can finish one off in a day--I've never seen anything like it. Her binges are always followed, however, by an obscene amount of time at the gym. This is how she maintains the balance. Binge and then sweat. Ewww.

I, on the other hand, am a more steady connoisseur of cheesecake and chocolate in general. I eat a little here and a little there, always after lunch or dinner lest I end up with a tummy ache. I steadily consume probably at least a double portion of chocolate something after each lunch and dinner anytime I can find it. When I'm at my house, I'll scour the cabinets and fridge over and over looking for it. I do the same at my mom's house and my sister's. When I nanny, I resort to chocolate milk if I have to. But I get my fix any way I can.

So back to the point. We made four chocolate chip cheesecake pies because otherwise ingredients get wasted, and I just can't have that happen. We ate a few slices Friday evening and a few more Saturday afternoon. I sent one home with Brandis and had two and a half left.

Saturday night I ate another slice (or so) with my in-laws, who are in town working on our house. I'll have to say there's no time like a visit from the in-laws to binge on some chocolate, if you know what I mean.

I planned to have a huge glass of milk and whatever chocolate I had left in the house tonight, but I was sabotaged. My fifteen-year-old brother-in-law ate the last of my king sized Hershey bar. Then he held up the aluminum wrapper and asked for more, accusing me of holding out on him. Sigh. If only he knew how precious that last bar was to me, even if it had the crunchy stuff inside (which I don't prefer).

So here I am, looking at my ever-growing muffin top, realizing it's getting too large to tuck into my waistband, eating gummy worms (you do what you can!) and hoping I can make it through the night without one last farewell to my beloved chocolate.

Step 1. Give all chocolate in my kitchen away...or eat all of it

When I woke up this morning I was faced challenge #1- Give all chocolate in my kitchen away or eat all of it before midnight. For a chocoholic this was a daunting task. Annie gave me a beautiful, extra chocolate, extra chip, cheesecake as a parting gift from visiting her on Saturday. As I write this I am wondering if this was her plan---to sabotage me? Sigh......So for lunch I had 2 slices of cheesecake, packed the rest in to go boxes, and walked down the street to Katie's (our other college roommate) house. I knew she would be supportive and eat the rest of the cheesecake.

This afternoon I went to the gym and thought about air freshners. Why can't there be an air freshner or a spray that squirts chocolate- one whiff and you're over your craving!?!? I would buy it. I would be 5 of them.

I just remembered there is a bag of chocolate chip muffins in the fridge. The only time I buy chocolate chip muffins is at gas stations when I'm traveling. So happens I was traveling on Friday and the Little Debbie snacks were displayed so nicely next to the magazine rack with all of the "get skinny in the new year" articles advertised on the front covers. I swear I was reading those magazines. I didn't even want the little debbies, but because they were there...I bought them. I have to eat those muffins tonight.

....I can do this...I can do this...I can do this....

The Chocoholic Challenge

The Challenge: Go without eating chocolate for an indefinite amount of time

The Contenders: Annie and Brandis, former college roommates at WKU and chocolate chip cheesecake addicts

Annie and Brandis will go head to head to determine who can survive the longest without chocolate. They will record their struggles, triumphs, and smack talk here for you to see.