Its about time...

It has been a week almost. I feel I have neglected the blog for too long. I've been eating chocolate...but not a lot. Some days I've gone completely without chocolate, while other days I've had a candy bar or a brownie...or two (I'm not going to lie). THE IMPORTANT THING IS that I'm not eating a lot of chocolate and I'm not eating as many unhealthy foods. My motto when shopping at the grocery is 'if i don't buy it, i won't eat it.' So far the motto has worked and has prevent many poor decisions.

I have to cut this post short, but I shall return shortly with more updates.

Shock and Awe

I did it. I ate a small peanut butter ball that had tiny pieces of chocolate in it. Yes, I knew the chocolate was in there and I still ate it! I'll tell you why I did it.
Withdrawal symptom #1: I have been waking up at odd hours of the night unable to sleep and anxious. It is seriously annoying.
Withdrawal symptom #2: At work I'm frequently anxious and nervous because chocolate is literally every where. My company provides free drinks and chocolate. Chocolate is in the kitchens, the boardrooms, the shelves, the closets, in the mail, and my staff keeps offering me more chocolate. Just yesterday we received a box of chocolates from a local business and a co-worker recieved a mardigra cake in the mail! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A FULL SIZED CAKE IN THE MAIL! sigh....
Withdrawal symptom #3: While everyone is receiving all of this delicious chocolate goodness, I am stuffing my face with crackers that I have hidden in my desk. I ate an entire sleave of butter, salty, crackers in a 4 days. No wonder I haven't lost any weight by abstaining from chocolate. I'm over eating and not eating well. Last week I ate an entire pizza by myself in 3 meals. I never do this. I don't even LOVE pizza. I just like it on occasion. But because I can't have chocolate, I want something...anything...not healthy.

Conclusion: I am eating chocolate now...but rarely. Like 1 bite sized chocolate a day. No brownies, cookies, or cakes. With this new goal I am focusing on sleeping better, eating better, and not being so anxious/weird. By allowing myself to eat a small nugget of chocolate, I will not desire pizza or butter crackers (yuck).
With that said, I went to the grocery store today. Yes, today, on national grocery shopping day. I parked in Egypt and found the check-out lines were forever long. I forgot that a snow storm is brewing in the west and people are in panic mode. While part of me was angry that everyone was at the grocery store at the same time, part of me was in awe of all of the beautiful people. I've never been to the grocery and seen so many attractive men. Note to self: go to the store when snow storms are on the horizon.
Anyway, while at the store I bought healthy foods, like fruit. I'm more focused then ever to lose weight. Who knows by not focusing on 'not eating chocolate' maybe I won't eat chocolate?

The journey continues, it is just a little different.

Official Withdrawal.

I have had a major headache all day long. I couldn't figure it out until just now.

I'm having withdrawals. It's painful.

I NEED CHOCOLATE...

NOW.

And She was Tempted by the Devil Three Times

Temptation #1

I went to lunch with my nephew today for his birthday. He chose to go to Arby's. My mom bought some candy to give him and his brothers. She handed a Reese cup to him, to them, to my sister, and then to me. I love Reese cups. I had to remind myself that man does not live on chocolate.

Temptation #2

We went to dinner tonight at a friend's house--the Riddle family. The food was great. Then they offered us hot chocolate. I chose French vanilla instead.

Temptation #3

The Riddles made some chocolate chip cookies, and they even had a selection of soft cookies and crunchy ones. I averted my eyes and chose to restrain myself.

A successfully challenging day.

TiMe

I'm saving a lot of time not eating chocolate. This time, that was once occupied by baking cookies, brownies, and shopping for cookies and brownies, is now being filled with some productive and some unproductive decisions...

1.) I went to a wedding 7 hours away and I didn't know anyone...not even the bride or groom...totally fun!
2.) I died my hair from blond to milk chocolate brown...just because.
3.) I choose to keep driving despite the 30 cop cars that were obviously slowing down. Five minutes later, myself and three girls were screaming in the car as we suddenly realized we were in the middle of high speed car chase on Interstate 40....note to self, be more aware.
4.) I decided to buy a stability ball, like the ones you see at gyms or on info commercials at 3am. I am taking my stability ball to work tomorrow and using it as my desk chair. Don't worry, I asked around at work to see how much grief I would get from this stunt...I don't think too many people will make fun of me.
5.) In an effort to get stronger I took a group power class last week. I arrived 5 minutes early to get a spot a in the back of the aerobics room. Come to find out, most people arrive 15 minutes prior to the class. The instructor set up my equipment in the first row in the middle. I pretty much stared into her eyes the entire time. It was sooooo awkward. Plus I had no idea what I was doing...too bad the instructor wasn't a man. I could of used some help.
6.) I decided to run a marathon some time this year. I told everyone. I was like "How could it be?" The problem is, I haven't actually signed up for a race or started training....I'm starting to think this could be really hard.


Annie remember that time when you went to the gym with me. (Yeah...that happened ONLY one time). The class we were going to wasn't in session because it was Martin Luther King day or President's Day or something. I could tell you were very disappointed.

Ooops, I did it again!

First of all, Brandis is mean. Look what she posted to my Facebook profile:

Is this fair?? I feel like there should be rules against this type of behavior. Maybe I should just step up my game and mail her a king-sized Hershey bar.

Secondly, I am so dumb. This post is not about Brittney Spears, but I did it again, y'all.

Today after church, my small group met for lunch. It was our turn to provide lunch, so we made baked spaghetti and bought bread and chocolate chip cookies. I filled my plate really full of spaghetti, ate it all, and went back for seconds. I put two cookies on my plate.

After I took a bite of about 1/3 of the cookie, Eli gave me a funny look. I thought he was trying to criticize me for having too many cookies. In my mind I thought, But I'm only eating two! Usually I eat way more! Then I realized what I had done.

And right then and there, in the middle of a deep discussion of the spiritual implications of the message that morning, I went to the bathroom and spit out the cookie into a napkin.

Honestly, the hardest part for me of this whole challenge is remembering not to eat chocolate!

Lastly, I think Brandis and I need to be more up front about the rules. At the beginning of this challenge, Brandis requested that she still be able to enjoy her morning chocolate shake. She has some kind of breakfast drink that she mixes with chocolate ice cream. I was okay with that, so we decided that I'm allowed to have hot chocolate as a concession to me. So this challenge is almost 100% chocolate free. And, for the record, I have not had any hot chocolate since we began. But I don't think Brandis could say the same of her morning shakes.